ako ulit mag jo2ke nyahaha

Subject: ako ulit mag jo2ke nyahaha Sat Dec 20, 2008 10:12 am

Pedro:
Doc bakit po ganito ang operasyon sa ulo ko? Halos kita na ang utak ko?

Doc:
Ok lang yan, yan ang tinatawag na OPEN MINDED!

................................... ........

Doctor gives a jar to an old man to take home for his sperm count. Next day, he gives an empty jar back..

Dr:
Why is it empty?

Man:
I used 1 hand, then both hands but it didn't work. I asked my maid, she used her mouth, even things but nothing! I even asked my driver!

Dr:
Your driver?

Man:
Yes! Even he couldn't open that damn jar!

................................... ........

Boy:
I heard u were great at algebra?

Grl:
Well, sort of, why?

Boy:
Can u please,

SUBSTITUTE MY "X"?

................................... ........

Amo:
Hoy Inday! Bakit sunog ang sinaing?

Inday:
Heavy fire that was exerted by the stimulus effect of the best conductor of heat w/c is d steel, causing the oriza sativa which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell, as well as the taste.

Amo:
In other words, you didn't apply your knowledge about heat conductors and left the oriza sativa to burn! Akala mo nosebleed ako noh?? Iba nako! Nagsstudy nako! Bring it on bitch!

(palaban na si Amo., haha)

................................... ........

Kung ang kagandahan ay nakakasilaw sa umaga,
HAYAAN NYO NALANG AKONG MATULOG MAGHAPON =3

................................... ........

"a heart made of ice doesn't need someone who has flamethrowers to melt the ice away but someone who patiently waits until the ice melts by itself.."~~

"ang mata ay nasa harap upang makita ang daanan hindi para iyakan ang mga nagdaan.."

................................... ........

ANGELINA:Yaya! Look my DaLiri, it has dugo.
YAYA:Akin na sipsipin q....Oh ayn, wLa n. San kba nsugatan AngeLina?
ANGELINA:wLa! i juz made tiris d garapata ng doggie. . Hahaha

................................... ........

Fun Facts From Infection Control:

1. during an hour's swimming @ a pool, u'll ingest 1/12 of a liter of urine.

2. in an average day, ur hand will come into indirect contact with 15 penises by touching door knobs,etc.

3. annually, u'll have swallowed 12 pubic hairs from fast foods.

4. annually, u'll have swallowed 14 insects while sleeping.

5. annually, u will shake hands with 6 men who have masturbated & failed to wash their hands!

- READER'S DIGEST!

................................... ........

Gf: cnO 2ng BABY n ngttxt syO?

Bf: ah e barkada ko yan! LaLake yan! baby lng palayaw.

Gf: O e2 replyan mO! D dw kyo 2loy at may mens dw ang tarantadO!^-^

................................... ........

STORYANG HANGO SA TOTOONG BUHAY:

KONDUKTOR: cubao cubao cubao! Skay na mluwag p! Cubao dto lng ang skyan! Cubao cubao cubao!

PASAHERO: boss, cubao?

Subject: Re: ako ulit mag jo2ke nyahaha Sat Dec 20, 2008 10:37 am

Dred: ang lolo ko 75 na smasli p s tagay!

Ray: ang loloko 82 n nagkkbet p! babaero kc e!

[Lerry nagring ang fone]

Lerry: ok Lo..cge po ingat..

Dred&RAy: cnu un?

Lerry: loloq nagaaya..

Magdodota dw kami! may bagong map 6.56
-apnpsp daw

--------------------------------

dko lam kong bkit nagseselos aq kpg may ibang nagpapangiti at nagpapasaya sau, d naman cguro s makasarili aq kundi natatakot aq n s sbrang kcyahan mo..

mapunit nguso mo!

----------------------------------- --------

Dred 2mwag sa SEPTIC TANK SERVICE CENTER:

Dred: helo, humihigop b kau ng tae ng poso negro?

MANONG ray: yes, sir! bakit po?

Dred: MAsarap?

----------------------------------- ----

Ms GAY Q&A:

Judge: 2 wat thing do u compare ur penis?
gay#1:sleeping pills never wakes up!
gay#2:RAT, scared of pussieS!
gay#3inosauR!

Judge;huh, y?

GAy#3:It no Longer Exist!

Judge: panalo ka bakla!

-----------------------------------

Ngaung college:

"kung nun hyskuL,
MATALINO ka..........

..so wat?

---------------------------------
a golfer, confused about his math askd his secretary.

"if i gave u P3M less 17%, how much wud u take off?

Secretary: "evrything sir, dress, bra.. panty'

----------------------------------- --------

kapag bilugan ang mukha mo,
wag ka masyado magngi-ngiti...

..baka pagkamalan ka nilang SMILEY

----------------------------------

its riLi nYC to c Lovers Spending
deiR TyM 2gdeR..

but wats Lovely...

..is wen i c..

..LOVERS FighTing BcOz of ME.

----------------------------------- ----------------

kung pinagLAlaruan mo lang ang pUSo ko,
itigil mo na...

..hindi na tayo bata..

bakit di nalang katawan ko
paglaruan mo..
mageenjoi pa tau

----------------------------------- -

DR Ray: Pre i feel guilty!
i had sex w/ my patient.

Dr.dred: Relax lang!
it hapens sumtyms in our profession.

Dr.Ray: anong relax lang?!
VETERINARIAN ako!

----------------------------------- ----------------
a lessong learned fR, Lupin III.

"f u wanna end up with d ryt prson, uV gOt 2 mke it happen, d Best pPoL r oLweys taken. F u wonT sTeal den , u woNt HAve Dem.."

--so suLutan pLa ang labanan?

----------------------------------- --------------

sa eskweLa..

Dred: dad, good news!
DAddY: oh anu yon?
Dred: diba sabi nyo sa bwat pasadong subject ko bibigyan nyo ko ng 100?

daddy: oo naman mukhang pasado lahat ah!

dred: dad makakatipid kau ulit ngaung sem.

----------------------------------- ----
whats the best thing about babies??

ah uhmm....

MAKING them!
----------------------------------- --------

ang love ay parang math..

dun ako mahina!

----------------------------------- ----------

in a GAY BEAUTY CONTEST,
the HOST asked contestant #8.

HOST: bukod sa mukHa mo..

ano pang problema mo?

-bastusan!

----------------------------------- -------------------

if u want Sum1,
dont Xpect daw Person tp Just Fly to u.
u shuld put a little effort and patience
into winning that persong.

if it soesn't woRk,

wel,

u Just hav To do It the hard way...

There are woRds such as:

KIDNAP,
RAPE,
BLACKMAIL,
& TORTURE..

-nga naman..!

Subject: Re: ako ulit mag jo2ke nyahaha Sat Dec 20, 2008 10:43 am

Misis:San ka punta hon?
Mr:Sa bar,inom Lng Beer..
Misis:E2 Beer oh,
Mr:Gs2 q sa Bar, Malamig..
Misis:E2 Meron D2 ice hon
Mr:Pero masarap Pulutan sa Bar
Misis:E2 nagluto aQ
Mr:Sa bar my onting biruan,Murahan..
Misis:Gsto mo murahan?
TANGINA MO!INUMIN MO 2NG PUTANG INANG
BEER MO SA MALAMIG NA BWAKANG INANG BASO NA 2,KAININ MO YANG PUKING INANG PULUTAN NA YAN DAHIL HINDI KA LA2BAS NG BAHAY!
TANG INA TO!!

****

Lolo: Nung araw sa SM pag my 20 pesos aq pag uwi meron na akong: Polo Maong,T-shirt, Brief, Medjas, Sin2ron..

Apo: Eh Ngaun lo?

Lolo: Mhirap na Apo, My Surveillance camera na..

***

Nene: Nay,Pinatambling ako knina sa Skul
Inay: Gaga! Gsto Lng nila Makita Panty mo!
Nene: Alam ko! Kaya nga tinago q sa Bag yung panty ko Eh!

****

Pare1:Pare,Naholdap aQ muntik pa aQ Mmtay..
Pare2:Bkit, D kba humingi ng 2long?
Pare1:Nagtxt Aq sa pulis station
Pare2:anong sbi?
Pare1:Hay naku!E2 Reply!
“Hu U?wer did u get my #?”

***

Teacher:Magppa class picture tyo para paglaki nyo ssbhin nyo!
“wow c dodong ngaun police na!,
wow si inday ngaun nars na!
wow c tomas ngaun doctor na!”
Juan:May pahabol pa ma’am
Teacher: Ano yun?
Juan: “Wow c ma’am, ngaun patay na”!
Teacher:tarantado ka!Hwag kang Ssali sa class picture leeche!!

***

Lola: iho,2lungan mo Q. isa aqng Prinsesa,ako’y isinumpa kung ako’y iyong ga2hasahin, Bblik aQ sa mganda kung anyo at 2luyan ng mapu2tol ang sumpa…

Ginahasa ng la2ki ang lola makaraan ang ilang saglit…

Lalaki: Yan, tpus na! bkit hindi kpa nagpa2lit anyo?

Lola: Ilan taon kna, iHo?

Lalaki: 24 po

Lola: Yang tanda mong yan Nniwla kpa sa Fairytales?
Helowww!?!

***

Kpag mahal mo
Isang
Tao
Ipa2sok moh!
Ipasagad moh!
Wag
Ka
Matakot msaktan
Dhil
Ang
True love
Mainit at msarap
Habang nkabaon
Sa
(“puso at isipan”
oh,Bkit?
Iba ngiTi mo,?!

……HmmMM..kaw ah,,..?

***

I am
butterfly a pretty small brown butterfly…
bittered and hated
by all Disgusted seen low..”

-Bakla na ipis nag emote!...

***

Dad: Gbi na! Ba’t ngaun ka Lng Umuwi?
Anak: Dad not now,
im tired dami projects,
dami events sa skul,
Nag meetingpa kmi with dean…

Dad: magtigil ka Kinder kpa lng!

***

Unggoy1: Tra hatiin ntin 2ng saging sa tatlo…
Unggoy2: Eh bkit dba dlawa lng tyo maghahati?
Unggoy1: Ang selfish mo,panu yung nagbabasa?
Unggoy2:ah hic…